If I were God

If I were God...
I'd be so pissed off with you, you're blaming me for all your troubles and misfortunes. Thinking that I'd been testing you... Next time use your fucking brain so terrible things won't happen to you again.

If I were God...
Do you really think I made all the natural disasters that has happened? Well fuck you, it's nature's reaction to your stupid actions you ungrateful pigs. The flood, the forest fire, the global warming... Do you really think I intend to destroy planet earth that I created?

If I were God...
I'd be so annoyed to be called like 5 times a day, or once every sunday, by 6 billions of people in this world just to hear their nonsense and complaints and praises just to know that they gonna do the same awful things the next day on purpose. Only do it if you really mean it. Don't play with me.

If I were God...
I'd be so angry because you lie and kill IN MY NAME. Since when do I allow you to commit crimes using my name as your foundation? Use your own fucking name you retards.

If I were God,
I wouldn't want you to shout out my names so many times in your political campaigns. Your greed for power and money has nothing to do with me.

If I were God...

But I'm not

So don't complain.

PLAYING VICTIM

The role of Victim (the 'poor me' attitude) is something I loathe the most.

And I'm talking about those hardcore, serious, self-victimizing bunch of cunts.
Below are the reasons why:

1. People who play this role automatically gain self-worth. Follow this reasoning closely: as victims, they are the ones to whom injustice is being done. Thus, the others are incorrect, not okay, wrong in what they do and consequently the 'victims' are okay, good and right. They want the people around to see that the 'victims' are worthy and we are not.

For many of those pathetic people, who lack sufficient self-esteem, this is a way they can establish their self-worth, by being the victims of others' wrong doings.

2. As 'victims', they can play on the others' pity and guilt. When we are angry with them, they will try diminish our rage and aggression by appearing weak and abused.

3. When they want something from us, they will play on our guilt, by making us look responsible for their unhappiness or their problems.

4. They, as 'victims', are not responsible for their own reality and thus not to blame if them or their lives are not as they would like them to be. They have an excuse for not being okay or manifesting their potential.

Thus, as victims, they gain what they want from the others, by making other people feel responsible for these people's reality, and by believing that they are weak, incapable and in need of help.

When confronted with loved ones who are playing the role of victim, YOU need to free yourselves from the illusion that you are responsible for their reality or that you can create their happiness, health or success in life. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT THEY ARE WEAK. YOU can love and support them with all heart, but you CAN'T create THEIR happiness, health or success. Only they can do that.

You need to express your love to them in ways that they can feel it, without getting caught up in feeling responsible or guilty for their reality. This requires a combination of love, effective communication and clarity of mind. If you are a nice person, maybe you can help them find another way of getting what they need. Away free from self-pity and unnecessary suffering.

But remember: IT'S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

If you have tried your best and they still choose to wallow in their so-called misery, I suggest you to dump your friends/lover right away. You don't need another burden in life. It means they do not appreciate you and most probably just using you.

When we serve someone a fish, we feed them once. When we teach them to fish, we feed them for a lifetime.

HELP

My heart is beating faster
My hands are cold
My tongue's frozen
Shivers have changed into numbness
I cannot move
I cannot scream
Tears in my eyes
I cannot believe what I see...


THERE'S A LIZARD IN MY ROOOOOMMMMMM!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! @_@

Four weddings and only one funeral????

The rainy season has begun and so is the wedding season (I still don't get the correlation between rainy season and weddings). Anyways, I'm bored to the skull, so let's talk about something. The topic of the day is... *hear the drums* : MARRIAGE (ta-daaaaa)

Okay I know this is a boring topic, but what the fuck man, this is my page so you better deal with it. Anyhoo, I've got 3 weddings invitations already, and I might not be attending any of them. I don't like crowds in weddings and having to answer when is my turn.
When asked question like that I answer: when the couple over there get divorced.

It usually ruins the cheers, so I think I better stay quiet at home. And the food at the weddings are usually of standard taste anyway. Plus, I can't eat that much when my lips are smudged with lipstick and the dress is too damn tight.

Everytime my friends got married, I ask them WHY? And the answers are usually... (from the most frequent answers)

1. We've been together for way too long
-This usually followed by another question: AND??

2. He proposed
-Another AND question, followed by "Well do you love him that much?". The answer is usually "Well.. I guess so. Err, I mean I do".

3. My parents want me to
-I understand that we must respect our parents. But I believe we get to choose our own happiness. If your parents told you to eat shit would you do it too?

4. I love him/her
-Now this is the answer I want to hear. Good for you if this is your reason to get married.

5. I'm pregnant
-I pity you. We live in a modern world where scientists have found condoms and other birth control methods to minimize the spread of diseases (talking about condoms here) and the possibility of getting preggers. Where the fuck do you live? Jungle?
*it's a different story if the condoms leaked. I mean at least you tried to be safe ;)

6. I'm getting old
-So are the rest of the world. And this is just the lamest excuse. Afraid of peer pressure? For crying out loud we're not in high school anymore.

I can go on and on, but let's just stop the counting right here. It's getting boring.

Anyways, I see friends getting married and divorced. It makes me shake my head in despair *well, not really*. Why would you get married if you know you and/or your partner aren't ready for this?

I see too many couples hurting each other and fighting for child custody. I come from a broken home and I know how difficult it is for the kids. Respect the commitment.
And if it has to end after all the efforts... Well, people fail sometime, at least you tried your best.

This is why I like funerals better. Why?.

1. I don't have to dress up and no makeup/high heels needed. The more I look non-fashionable the more the mourners feel respected.

2. I don't have to queue for the food. And to think of it, it's good for my diet. I mean, how could someone eat when tears are flowing and misery is clogging one's throat. Imagine if I go to those weddings with their cholesterol and uric acid loaded food (I don't even have the courage to weigh myself nowadays).

3. I don't have to give red envelopes. Flowers are much more suitable because there is no "with all respect, we do not accept gifts nor flowers" sentence like in the wedding invitations.

4. I don't have to smile and say hi to strangers.

5. No one ever asked me when is my turn.

6. After the funeral, I go home with a prayer and a smile, knowing that the deceased is now finally at peace. Not guessing and betting with like-minded friends about how long the marriage gonna last.

Okay don't complain about my cynicism. I am having hormonal imbalance due to PMS, so I have all the rights in the world to do whatever I want :P

Ps: If you're offended after reading this, I can only say... who the fuck told you to read? Muahahahaha!

don't bring your disease home!

10 FACTS ON SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS :

1. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are mostly spread from one infected person to another through sexual intercourse. Some infections may also be transmitted from mother to child during pregnancy and childbirth. Another way that infections are passed on is through the sharing of blood products or tissue transfers. Some diseases caused by STIs include syphilis, AIDS and cervical cancer

2. STIs often exist without symptoms, particularly in women. Thus, men and women with sexual partners who have STI symptoms should seek care regardless of a lack of signs. Whenever an infection is diagnosed or suspected, effective treatment should be provided promptly to avoid complications

3. STIs disproportionately affect women and adolescent girls. Every year, one in 20 adolescent girls gets a bacterial infection through sexual contact, and the age at which infections are acquired is becoming younger and younger. Improving awareness and knowledge of STIs and how to prevent them among adolescents should be part of all sexual health education and services

4. Sexually transmitted infections are important causes of Fallopian tube damage that lead to infertility in women. Between 10% and 40% of women with untreated chlamydial infections develop symptomatic pelvic inflammatory disease. Post-infection damage of the Fallopian tubes is responsible for 30% to 40% of female infertility cases

5. In pregnancy, untreated early syphilis is responsible for 1 in 4 stillbirths and 14% of neonatal (newborn) deaths. About 4% to 15% of pregnant women in Africa test positive for syphilis. Interventions to more effectively screen pregnant women for syphilis and prevent mother-to-child transmission of the disease could prevent an estimated 492 000 stillbirths per year in Africa alone

6. One of the most deadly sexually transmitted infections is the human papilloma virus (HPV). Virtually all cervical cancer cases are linked to genital infection with the virus. Cancer of the cervix is the second most common cancer in women, with about 500 000 new cases and 250 000 deaths each year. The new vaccine that prevents the infection could reduce these cervical cancer-related deaths

7. When used properly and consistently, condoms are one of the most effective methods of protection against STIs, including HIV infection. Although the female condom is effective and safe, it is not as widely used in national programmes because of its higher cost when compared to male condoms

8. The partner notification process, which is an integral part of STI care, informs sexual partners of patients about their exposure to infection so that they can seek disease screening and treatment. Partner notification can prevent reinfection and reduce the wider spread of infections.

9. Social or economic conditions, and some sexual behaviours increase a person's vulnerability to STIs. Populations most-at-risk for sexually transmitted infections vary from setting to setting, depending on local culture and practices. Interventions to prevent and care for STIs should be intensified for such populations, while ensuring that services minimize potential stigmatization and discrimination

10. A global strategy to accelerate prevention and control of STIs was developed by WHO through broad consultation among Member States and partners, and then endorsed by the World Health Assembly in May 2006. To build momentum and effectiveness, the 10-year plan includes technical and advocacy components that can be adapted for use around the world.

source: http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/sexually_transmitted_diseases/en/
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I will not use any sarcasm on what I’m gonna write next. So if any of you feel offended, I honestly think that is caused by your own idiocy.

If you decide to have sex with more than one person, I strongly suggest you to protect yourself and the world by using the rubber dick gloves known as condoms. Of course you idiots know what condoms are. You've seen it on TV, magazine, you even bought them out of curiosity and blew em into balloons. Of course you tried it on yourself or to your partner. And of course you kept it in your wallet, so your friends would say "Hey, this dude/chick is so cool, s/he has a condom in her/his wallet".

But, has it ever crossed your mindless head, that even 1 minute of pleasure can cause damage to someone else's life? Have you ever thought about what you did, is causing statistics?

Of course not. All you ever cared about was yourself... Until you find yourself have the STIs.

Do you think that the term 'sexually' means it will just affect your genital? I'm sorry, but you are completely wrong. For instance, Syphilis can cause nerves damage. And cervical cell cancers will get together with your brain cells too. So you, educated women who are embarassed to see the gynaecologists just because you're afraid of what other people might think about you... Well, other people will probably just think that you're a whore, nothing more than that. That is nothing compared to the possibility of getting a cervical cancer if you don't do routine PAP smear after your first intercourse.

Many people still think that HIV is the only deadly virus that is incurable. Well, next time you browse the internet, read news sites instead of porn sites for a change.

Now, how do we prevent the transmission of these diseases?
Stick with one partner whom you can trust.
Do not have sex unless you are sure that you and your partner are clean. Pretty hard to do eh? I know. But guess what, we have laboratories! Yay!
But variation is the spice of life... Fine, do whatever you want, just remember, protect yourself and other people. I don't care if you decide to harm yourself. It's your decision, you had your options. Just please, do not involve other people's lives.
But what if it was an emergency case? Ooh, now we have 24 hours, 7 days a week Circle K...
What if it was a drunk-call? Well, be selective with people you drink with.


PS: Thank you so much for reading my note, I hope this will open your mind and help ourselves and others in preventing the transmission of the diseases. Sorry for crushing your ego, but sometimes we all need to be slapped to understand the situation. Peace and love.

25 random things about me

1. I LOVE dipping fries in ice cream :)
2. I'm currently sick when writing this. Been coughing my lungs out for a month already and this is the only time I'm not feeling happy I'm losing weight.
3. I've been off the cancer sticks for 6 days and not even tempted to touch it.
4. Was the age when I first time made my own money. I sold lemonade, fruits, snacks... Until people at home found out why the kitchen was always empty.
5. Is my lucky number :)
6. I hate lizards. I think the world could be a better place without them. Fuck the terrorists, lizards must go to hell first!
7. People either love me or hate me. Been told to stop being sarcastic, but I can't help it since you're a moron.
8. I was just KIDDING!
9. I learned wushu and freestyle fighting for several years, until I find other indulgence in life: ALCOHOL... hahaha
10. I guess that explains my beer belly :P
11. But I don't like beer that much, though. I'm more of a wine and whiskey person. I think beer is only drinkable when you're very, very thirsty and it must be freezing cold.
12. I ever kicked men on the balls. I swear I will never do it again... uppercut is much more stylish.
13. I love sushi :)
14. I love cartoons, I crave for them and I will get a nervous breakdown if I don't get my daily dose of comic books.
15. I'm not an atheist, it's proved by the frequency of screaming God's name while I'm having sex
16. I hate house chores.
17. I can't drive :D
18. But my imaginary husband and kids never complain anyway.
19. I think the government should legalize weed.
20. Out of 3 people whom I wish they're dead, 2 has died of an illness and accident, 1 is still alive. I AM CREEPY.
21. I have very little sense of guilt.
22. But I think I'm quite of a loving person. Oh and I cuddle too :)
23. I break hearts.
24. I treasure friendship and honesty.
25. Yesterday I sneezed before I could close my nose. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Booty Call Poem

Booty call where you at?
I'm in need of some lovin tonite
It's not that I'm easy
I'm just feeling horny

Booty call pick up my call
I have no other number to dial
My hormones are building up tension
I need to do some action

Booty call I really like you
I mean, if not, I wouldn't be seeing you
No drama, no complication and such
At least not from my side

Booty call don't worry
If you don't feel like doing it don't say sorry
You're the only one I see
But it doesn't mean I want you to marry me

It's just that I've run out of battery
For the electronic device that can help me
And now I'm ready to rock
PS: I really like our pillow talk

The Battle Between 2 Evils ;)

I just woke up from a baaad dream. I slept early, around 9 pm because I haven't been feeling too well lately. And at midnight, precisely 1 am, I woke up with my heart racing and and I was running out of breath. I dreamt I was in a fight. I was in a very dark dome, it's like underground cave in some sci-fi movies. You know, like in movies where the future is so fucked up we have underground people in the slum area. I was in a stage, and there were people watching. Like hundreds of them. I was there fighting the flying demons. I couldn't see the shape nor forms. But I could feel them. They were attacking me, trying to strangle my neck and to steal my sanity. I was in a mental and physical battle with them. They were prolly like the dementors in Harry Potter movies. It was like as if they stole the oxygen supply, I was suffocated. I was cornered, there were so many of them. And there were people watching from below the stage, some of them were cheering, the rest of them were just watching anxiously. Most of them wore dark clothes, ripped.

I was exhausted, no one helped me and the numbers of my enemies kept growing.. I cried for help. No one answered..
Except one. Yes, the person I've ignored for oh so many years. Prolly since I could use my brain and ask the question: if there's god and he's so kind to us, why do human beings suffer?

There he was. Jesus Christ himself. Not Jesus the thug from Puerto Rico. Nor Jesus the illegal immigrant from Mexico. It was Jesus Christ from I don't know where. I could not see his face, but he told me that he was Jesus. I believed him... Hey don't blame me, in a situation like that you wouldn't care who he was or where he was from. I needed backup!

So anyway, I was still fighting the demons when Jesus just stood there. I knew I could ask him for help but I was too stubborn. "I'm a tough motherfucker", that was what I thought. But no.. The situation turned bad. I was about to lose the fight. I wasn't giving up, but I know I'd get killed sooner or later. 
Suddenly the guy from Betlehem stood beside me and said, "You know what, you don't have to be that stubborn. All you need to do is just believe".

And then I won the battle.

I don't know how I or he did that. But the enemies were dead. People were cheering. Some of them were sulking. I got off the stage and walked home.. Feeling weird.. And then I woke up feeling even more weird.

For you who know me personally, you guys must be thinking what the fuck is wrong with me.. Don't ask me, I have no fuckin idea.. I have never been religious and I really don't want to think this event as a religious experience that will bring back my christianity. Because there was never any. I think this is because I made fun of his name in my previous note. But this kinda make me think, maybe I should be more in touch with my spirituality. I have ignored myself and the health of my inner spirit for so many years. I have drowned myself in this superficial and materialistic world.

I will not change to be a different person. I just thought.. Maybe I can do something better. For myself, for you, for the people, for this world. I guess being positive sometimes is not bad at all.

And don't worry, I won't stop partying :)
Just maybe not as hardcore as before :p

PS: I am NOT drunk/high

Or maybe this is because I'm not drunk/high??

I don't knowwwwwww

Rina The Adventuress

It was 4 am, I had been trying to sleep but I couldn't. So I decided to take a morning run around my area (Grogol). I usually run around 5 but this was an exception, I felt somehow restless and bored.

So I put on my running shoes, my state-of-the-art yellow jacket and cargo pants. Not to forget my ipod shuffle with house music banging my tympanic membranes. So there was I, ready to burn the alcoholic belly away...

Then I thought to myself... Hmm, maybe it's time to choose a different jogging track. Besides, I'd been running on the same old track for years.. And adventurous Rina had made a decision: trying a new track!

So I ran and ran (okay, okay, I mostly walked, I'm getting old), looking around the new dimension and people. And my mood suddenly went good, I smiled and even waved at the people who prolly thought.. What the fuck is that girl doing 4 in the morning??? I chose the alley ways, running between the small houses. It wasn't a slum area, but the houses were pretty small and quite dark. But I didn't care, I was feeling adventurous.

I saw some 'interesting' views in my journey.. I saw couples making out, people getting their shops ready to open, a ladyboy blowing the customer.. Many things.. I knew Jakarta never sleeps, but usually I witnessed it during my way back from the clubs, drunk and wasted. But this time it was different, I felt like I really was a part of this city. I was the people.

Time showed 6 am already. Time for the energizer bunny to go home, her battery was almost gone. And then I realised something... I passed a same building 3 times already! Oh shit! Where the fuck am I????

YES I WAS LOST

Brain: "Okay don't worry, Rina. You are okay. Think.. Which way did you go to?"

Rina: "If I knew I wouldn't have been lost, it's your job you idiot"

Tired legs: "I'm tired... Let's go homeeeee!"

My ipod died. No more house music. Just the deadly sound of bajaj.

Hm, what do you do in a time of crisis like this? That's right, ask somebody the way :)
But I wouldn't ask people how to get to my house, they would know that I was lost and that would be embarassing. I've embarassed myself enough already by getting lost while jogging.

Bling! The idea lamp showed its light in my head. I live just across a church, so I thought why not I just ask somebody where the church is! That's right! So I could save my stupid pride and found my way home =)

Then the 2nd lightning struck... Holly shit, I don't know what the name of the church is!! And I've passed it for almost 8 years.. Worst of all, I live just across of that goddamn church!! Should I ask them: do you know where the christian church with a cross in front of it?? Ha-Ha
*sorry for the christians, but I need to use bad words to exaggerate things. peace yo!*

Yes.. I was laughing my ass off too.. Laughing at the irony of my stupidity. Time had shown 8 am.. The legs were shaking.. And by the time I almost gave up and decided to throw my pride away by taking a bajaj home.. I saw the light.. Yes... I saw Jesus!!
I saw the freakin church! I AM HOME!! Yaaaay! hahahha.. I had never been this happy to see a church in my entire non-religious life...

*Fyi, this happened a month ago. I haven't run again since. And yes, I haven't found out the name of the church either :p*

Peace yo,

Rina the idiotic adventuress

what's that blue marks on your face?

I just received a phone call from a friend (we can call her Mrs. A) this afternoon. Mrs. A cried over the phone, with her heart-breaking, soul-tearing voice, she told me her husband just hit her.

It wasn't a shocking news. It happened before and it will happen again.

My response was "Hum.. Uh huh.. And? What do you want me to do?". And then there was silence... And more sobs..

I've never got to know Mr. A well enough. Not that I want to. And I guess he never likes me either. After all, I'm Rina the bad influence.

But what I know about him is that, he has always been abusive, at least during their whole relationship (they've been together for 3 years, just got married few months ago). I remember how Mrs. A was impressed by his dominant charm, his know-exactly-what-to-do attitude, and his good looks. He's got it all. Except one: mental health.

The first time Mrs. A called me to tell about the abuse was years ago. She cried over the phone, shocked. She had never guessed a jealousy would cost a bruise on her face (and she has a very beautiful face). I was furious at that time, I rushed to meet her, to comfort her, and to give her the best I could to help (including giving her advise to arrange him got beaten up to near death). She just sat there at the cafe, sobbing, didn't know what to do next because she loved him madly (ironically yea i think she's 'mad'). And then there went the next phase.. SHE BLAMED HERSELF.
Surprising, don't you think? My jaw dropped. My anger soon targeted a different person: her. I could not believe why she had to blame herself. She got beaten up because Mr. A checked her phone and saw text messages from her ex, and there was nothing romantic nor sexual in those messages. And she blamed herself for not considering Mr. A's feeling.

And so they made peace. He apologised. Apology accepted (by her, obviously).

And after that we had this distance between us, she was not allowed to hang out with me (and lately never at all), because apparently she told him that I was angry and told her to leave him. He intoxicated her brain with strange logics. My friends and I have been trying hard to get her back to the real world. But I guess a sadist is just exactly what a masochist needs.

And the beating continues, until this afternoon when she called. With any kind of reason available. If there isn't any, he'll make one.

So what I told her this evening is that, she could go to her parents house, call a lawyer, file for divorce. And I will not be surprised if she will just wait for him at home while medicating her wounds. Cook him good food, welcome him home with the hopeless smile and lost puppy eyes. He will apologise, and the cycle goes..

If any of you who reads this is a woman in the same situation.. Please, I BEG YOU, use your brain, and have a self pride. So what if he threatens to leave you, or take the kids away with him. We have laws (even that it's unreliable). You have friends and family. And we even have NGOs for that, you know. Do the words 'human rights' ring a bell?

Your church/mosque/temple/whate

ver will not stop him from beating you up...

A baseball bat does.

And a bunch of guys from Priok.

I'm not advising you to kill somebody here.

A near death experience is good enough.

Fuck forgiveness.

Lawsuit is MUCH BETTER

Even better if you can throw him into jail so he can indulge the anal experience from his fellow prisoners.

Don't give him lubricants, he might enjoy it too much.